"NO, NO "

"Please Dad please Mom don't leave me don't abandon me please I beg u, please"

"ahhhhhhh"

"Xander Xander wake up my son"

"hey Xander can you listen to me"

"ahhh huh huhhh"

"Dad what are you doing here?" I asked him with a confused expression on my face

"Are you ok you are sweating and you even screamed"

"I am sorry Dad I am absolutely fine Dad don't worry"

"again watched the same dream?"

what should I tell you Dad I can't give you stress I don't want to make you worry about me

"Why are you silent every time I ask you something about this condition of yours? its been over 18 fucking years still you are not ready to share it with me. I sometimes doubt do you even consider me your father?"

"its not like that Dad. its just nothing serious"

"what? do you think of me as a fool you are fucking screaming and sweating like hell for the past 18yrs and every fucking time you say it's nothing serious?"

I can't tell you Dad you have already done me a lot of favour me and I do not know how am I going to repay it off

"where are you lost now, Xander?"

"um...nothing Dad"

he took a deep breath before rubbing his temple then with a soft expression he patted my head

"You can share it with me whenever you are comfortable. ok?"

I just nodded my head

and with that, I saw his retarding figure

after he was out of my room I rubbed my face and then went towards the bathroom to have an ice-cold bath to shut down my thought and those fucking shitty dreams

I turned on the shower and stood under it for about an hour.

But I can't stop thinking about it.

will I ever be able to overcome this?

I want to ask so many questions from him.

why he did do that? to me to a kid who was just 10 years old?

during that period when I needed him the most?

why?why?why?

anger rushed through me and with that, I punched the wall in front of me.